we will all laugh at gilded butterflies

This week, Esquire magazine named Charlize Theron the Sexiest Woman Alive. Now, she's not exactly repulsive, but, frankly, she's not really my type. So, because my opinion is more important than anyone else's, I've made a list of five (alive) women sexier than Charlize Theron.


1. Megan Fox
This 21-year-old hottie turned heads big time when she hit the big time with Transformers. I can't really comment on her acting skills -- I never even considered seeing the film -- but I remember my jaw dropping when I looked through her red carpet photos. She's strikingly beautiful, and she knows how to work it. She's also got a super cool tattoo on her shoulder blade: "We will all laugh at gilded butterflies," a Shakespeare shout-out. Now that's something you'll never see out of Paris Hilton. (Check out Megan's Gallery Here!)


2. Hayden Panettiere
What? She's 18 now, so we're allowed to call her sexy if we want to. Personally, I like Hayden because she's got a little meat on her bones. She's by no means chubby, but she's not your typical super-skinny starlet. Her legs just look remarkably -- grabbable. (What? She's 18 now, people!) And she doesn't feel obliged to give the media a barrage of quotes about how she's "comfortable with the body of a real woman," she just shows up and looks awesome. Plus, she just broke up with her boyfriend, Laguna Beach's resident loser, Stephen Colletti, so she's single and ready to mingle. (Check out Hayden's Gallery Here!)


3. Jaslene Gonzalez
Okay, so this one's a little out of left field, but, if you read my blog, you know I have a huge girl crush on Jaslene. If you haven't heard of her, it's probably because you're male, and you don't watch America's Next Top Model, which she won last cycle. She's ANTM's first Latina winner, and she's got that whole exotic, angular thing going on. She recently signed on as the spokeswoman for Liz Claiborne's campaign to fight domestic abuse, a concern close to home for her. Using your reality-TV powers for good? Very sexy. (Check out Jaslene's Gallery Here!)


4. Mena Suvari
You remember Mena as the teenage sexpot from American Beauty, but she's grown into an equally sexy woman who continues to take on challenging roles. She recently chopped off her hair for a role, and, rather than immediately getting a wig or a weave, she pulled a Demi Moore and just decided to rock the new look. She dyed it blonde and got in front of the camera as often as possible, reminding a new generation of men that chicks with short hair can be hot, too. (Check out Mena's Gallery Here!)


5. Vanessa Hudgens
As anyone who caught her brief foray into amateur pornography knows, this 18-year-old brings a lot more to the sexiness table than her High School Musical character would condone. But rather than make pouty faces for the camera in the wake of her scandal, Vanessa put on a smile and threw herself into the paparazzi's eye in a positive way, attending a wide range of charity functions and working hard on her upcoming album. Now that's sexy! (Check out Vanessa's Gallery Here!)
Mary Paetzel would have harrumphed at the whole spectacle.

There we were Friday afternoon, some two dozen of her longtime friends and admirers standing atop 7,420-foot high Dutchman Peak, everyone with a lump in his or her throat, trying to keep our eyes from watering.

But there was more laughter than tears. This was a celebration of someone who was truly the most unique individual we ever had the good fortune to meet.

Friday would have been her 88th birthday. The feisty self-taught naturalist died Aug. 3 in Grants Pass.

She had been brought home for the last time, to have her ashes gently placed under a mountain mahogany bush on the peak she loved overlooking the upper Applegate River drainage.

"Mary wanted her ashes scattered on Dutchman ― she left expressed wishes for that," event organizer Lee Webb, retired Rogue River-Siskiyou National Forest biologist, reminded us. "But she didn't say 'have a party,' " he added. "I can see her now, saying, 'None of that crap. Just put it out there.' But, secretly, she would be enjoying herself today."

From the mountaintop floated the words and sweet music to "Red River Valley" and "Amazing Grace" performed by a talented trio including fiddle player Janet Levinson and vocalists Marguerite Garrison and Joyce Wind with their guitars. They also played "Solitary Woman," a peaceful song written by Levinson, a forester who worked with Mary.

Indeed, she would have loved it. Underneath Mary's crusty exterior was a warm person with a hearty laugh, a rare individual who actually did stop to smell the roses along the way.

For her, those were wild roses included everything nature had to offer, from bees to trees, from crickets to caterpillars.

Born in Peru, Ind., on Sept. 21, 1919, Mary, always one to go her own way, quit school after the ninth grade when school administrators insisted she focus on cooking and sewing classes instead of the hard sciences. She tried to enlist into the Army during World War II but was rejected because she had sight in only one eye. No problem, she simply got a job working as an aircraft mechanic during the war.

It was after moving to Southern Oregon in the 1940s that she began exploring the Siskiyou and Klamath mountains. For 30 years she collected pollen for a pharmaceutical company to be used in allergy tests.

But her love was studying nature. In 1986, she discovered a rare population of Mariposa copper butterflies in the Siskiyou mountains. Her interest in butterflies led to a forest contract job of surveying butterflies on Dutchman Peak.

Back in 1963, she had written a "Writer's Prayer" asking that her written words be remembered.

"Dear God, if you heed my humble prayer, I only ask that you help me share this work of mine, this talent of Yours, with others ― that I may brighten a little the dark places, that I may gladden a little the heavy heart, that I may make less dreary the sad day," it reads in part.

"With your help I beg to bring the sun and blue skies and clean woods, the peaceful river, the tranquility of the hills, to all who need and want them," she added.

Her prayers ― and ours ― were answered.

Mary's three books, including "Spirit of the Siskiyous," published by Oregon State University Press in 1998, contain her wonderful essays and sketches of nature.

With each essay, you feel like you are peering over the gifted writer's shoulder, holding your breath as you both observe nature's wonders.

Consider "Wandering Troubadour," which she wrote in June of 1963.

"Have kept a pet cricket since last fall, but now in these beautiful days of sun and warm breezes I haven't had the heart to keep him shut up in his little prison so yesterday I gave him his freedom," Mary wrote.

"First I made him a snug little retreat beneath a poppy plant and even constructed a little porch over the door to keep him dry. As soon as he understood he was free to go he gratefully accepted his newly built home and moved in.

"He sang long and happily all day and night ― but today he sang from another spot, and another. He is all over the field and garden as though he couldn't resist traveling after being a prisoner so long. But always he sings. First from the greenhouse, now from the rose bush, again from the stone wall by the house.

"Sing little friend and enjoy your well-earned freedom," she concluded.

On Jan. 31 of this year, Mary penned her final essay, titled "No grieving my friends."

"The bird in the gilded cage has flown," it began. "The golden path of the moon over the marsh is irresistible and the swans are calling. I won't be too far away.

"When the leaves turn golden in autumn, when the snow begins to fall, when the birds return in spring, I will be there," she added. "When the geese are on the wing, I'll be there.

"For the sounds of the wild things of the earth will be heard in eternity, and I'll be there."

It was probably just a coincidence that a solitary white butterfly could be seen flitting among the mountaintop congregation Friday afternoon.
Hear that sound? It's the seismic shift taking place on the Washington dining scene, as top chefs open casual versions of their high-end restaurants, upscale pizza parlors open left and right, overlooked neighborhoods acquire exciting places to eat -- and the local restaurant bar is raised yet again. Click away for proof: Monumental meals served up at 50 national treasures.